You aren’t meant to look like you are 18 forever.
Your teenage body is not fully physically mature. Hips continue to widen. Bellies soften. Muscle continues to develop. Your physical body does and needs to change and grow beyond adolescence. That’s just the way it works.
Trying to reshape, mold or manipulate your body into your “body of the past” isn’t helpful. It’s mainly miserable.
We aren’t meant to wear the same clothes or size for our entire lives. Our bodies are not sculpted marble that will never change.
You might notice your body changes as decades pass. That means your body is doing exactly what it is supposed to do.
When I catch myself longing for a body shape of the past-- because we all do, I try a helpful reframe.
I think of a person I really admire. I consider what I admire about them. It’s often the way I feel when I am with them. I feel accepted. I feel loved. I am inspired by their resilience. I appreciate how strong and vulnerable they are in their struggle. I watch how they make others feel loved as well. I appreciate how they see my daughters as “more than a body.” They laugh and cry with me and for me. They are patient with me. Ultimately, they make me want to be a better human.
I remember that there is not a single reason I admire or love this person that is related to what size they wear or the way they look. This takes me out of my own self objectification -- thinking of myself as an object to be viewed, rather than a human being.
There is more to you and the people you love than body size, shape or color. It’s okay to let go of a body of the past and free up more time, mental space and energy in the present.